Message in a bottle, drifts in the sea
Been stuck on this island for far to long
Hoping someone wants to come and find me
Waiting in this place where I don't belong
Never ending, hot sunshine all day
I don't want to be here any longer
Hopefully I will not be here to stay
Desire to leave is growing stronger
But then on one especially cold night
What are all those loud noises that I hear?
Many bright lights come into sight
Also, people's voices are coming near
I was correct, finally I am found
No longer to this island, I am bound.
I wrote my sonnet about someone feeling lost, as if they were stranded on an island, or somewhere where they felt that they didn’t belong. I feel that this sonnet tells a lot about a situation that I was in with friends when I first transferred to Punahou, when I was in 7th grade.
In the first stanza of my sonnet, the “narrator” of the sonnet is talking about how they have been stuck on a deserted island, and they feel as they don’t belong on the island, and just want to get back to what they know, and their comfort zone. This can be a metaphor for someone who has started to do something new, out of their own comfort zone, and they don’t feel comfortable in the situation that they are in. This for me was like when I first came to Punahou. I was new, and hardly knew anyone. Coming from a smaller school with only 25 people in my grade, changing to a school with more than 200 people in your grade was a huge change.
In my second stanza, the narrator is talking about how they want to go home, and their wanting to leave is growing stronger with every minute spent on the island. This was like my first day at school, because there was so many people and I was so confused, trying to find my classes and dodging people in the halls. Everything was so much different than my other school, and I felt as if I couldn’t handle such a big change. After all, at my old school we didn’t have any sports teams let alone a full sized basketball court or swimming pool. Next thing I know, I am at Punahou, looking at the Olympic sized swimming pool.
In my third and fourth stanza, my sonnet tells how the person is found, and they are very happy about it. They are also happy, because they realize that people do really care for them, and they do mean something in someone else’s life. In my situation, this happened when I finally ran into some people I knew that were not new students at Punahou. They were able to show me around, and tell me a little more information about where all my classes were. I was also able to eat lunch with them. After this confusing day, I became even better friends with them, and I was able to be friends with them through the rest of 7th and 8th grade, and even through freshman year. If it wasn’t for them, I know my first day of school would have been a lot harder.
My example of my first day of school was only one small example of the many times I have unfortunately felt left out of place, or been somewhere where I felt that I didn’t belong. However, I never have been in that situation for long, because I have had my friends and my family to help me feel welcome wherever I was.
Although I am always grateful for friends and family for always being there for me, I know that others are not always as fortunate as me, so I always try to include people that are new at school or in other places. I don’t want them feeling alone, or out of place, because that has to be one of the worst things to feel. There are some people however, that never have anyone looking out for them, and are “alone” for a lot of their lives These people are the ones that sometimes end up having problems with drugs, alcohol or even self-mutilation or suicide. This shows me that the more people I (and others) reach out to and help, the more people will benefit from kindness, and not turn to other options.
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6 comments:
Very nice sonnet. You paint a beautiful picture with your words and descriptions. The flow is there and allows the reader to interpret their own vision of an island. Is this island a metaphor for some emotion or sensation or is it just being stuck on a lost island? Very good!
I really like your sonnet. You have good wording and you must have spent a long time on it. Maybe in your paper you can write about how your sonnet relates to you or anyone else. Great Job!
I can feel the anxiety and stress of being stuck on an island, waiting to be found.
I think the last line sounds awkward, so my suggestion would be to simply switch I and am, so it would be "No long to this island am I bound."
Good sonnet, the reader can self-elaborate this bottled message to be a bottled message or even something bigger, like a knowledge they feel must immediately be known to the world.
great poem, I like how you altered it a little bit, and now it flows really well. good job with the ryming!
I wrote my sonnet about someone feeling lost, as if they were stranded on an island, or somewhere where they felt that they didn’t belong. I feel that this sonnet tells a lot about a situation that I was in with friends (Maybe you don't need with friends it sounds like your problem was more with school in general) when I first transferred to Punahou, when I was in 7th grade.
In the first stanza of my sonnet, the “narrator” of the sonnet is talking about how they have been stuck on a deserted island, and they feel as they don’t belong on the island, and just want to get back to what they know. This can be a metaphor for someone who has started to do something new, out of their comfort zone, and they don’t feel comfortable in the situation that they are in. This was my situation when I first came to Punahou. I was new, and hardly knew anyone. Coming from a smaller school with only 25 people in my grade, changing to one with more than 200 people in the grade was a huge change.
In my second stanza, the narrator is talking about how they want to go home, and their wanting to leave is growing stronger with every minute spent on the island. This was like my first day at school, because I was so confused, trying to find my classes and dodging tons of people In the halls. (this sentence was a little awkward, you used people twice) Everything was so much different than my other school, and I felt as if I couldn’t handle such a big change. After all, at my old school we didn’t have any sports teams let alone a full sized basketball court or swimming pool. Next thing I know, I am at Punahou, looking at the Olympic sized swimming pool. (Nice comparison)
In my third and fourth stanza, my sonnet tells how the person is found, and they are very happy about it. They are also happy, because they realize that people do really care for them, and they do mean something in someone else’s life. (These sentences before seem a bit awkward.) In my situation, this happened when I finally ran into some people I knew that were not new students at Punahou. They were able to show me around, and tell me a little more information about where all my classes were. I was also able to eat lunch with them. After this confusing day, I became even better friends with them, and I was able to be friends with them through the rest of 7th and 8th grade, and even through freshman year. If it wasn’t for them, I know my first day of school would have been a lot harder. (Maybe mention again how this was getting you "off the Island")
My example of my first day of school was only one small example of the many times I have unfortunately (Unfortunately Unnecessary) felt left out of place, or been somewhere where I felt that I didn’t belong. However, I never have been in that situation for long, because I have had my friends and my family to help me feel welcome wherever I was.
Although I am always grateful for friends and family for always being there for me, I know that others are not always as fortunate as me, so I always try to include people that are new at school or in other places. I don’t want them feeling alone, or out of place, because that has to be one of the worst things to feel. There are some people however, that never have anyone looking out for them, and are “alone” for a lot of their lives. These people are the ones that sometimes end up having problems with drugs, alcohol or even self-mutilation or suicide. This shows me that the more people I (and others) reach out to and help, the more people will benefit from kindness, and not turn to other options.
I really liked how you methodically explained your stanzas of your poem. Your poetry really explains well the feeling of being Isolated and alone. Your message In your paper was really good too.
message and support: 18
clarity: 17
fluency 14
technique: 18
voice: 17
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